Neha Sharma – FHM India (July 2013) Issue
Neha Sharma has a rather unfortunate choice in movies. She is also prone to dropping the four letter expletive and unlike other people she doesn’t try and change it to fish mid sentence. Plus, she always played a man’s role when her convent school put up shows of the Bard’s plays. But even then, she stands out more for her choice of co-stars and her bikini collection. She has recently starred opposite the Unbendables – the Deol’s in Yamla Pagla Deewana 2, played the female lead to Vivek Oberoi in Jayantabhai Ki Luv Story, was part of an ensemble cast with Ritesh Deshmukh and Tushar Kapoor in Kya Super Kool Hain Hum and cosied up to Emraan Hashmi in
Crook. But since this is FHM, we’d rather focus on her bikini collection.
Neha: I wouldn’t say my career has been fucked up, but yes it’s not perfect. Which is why it needs my full energies. Also, there was Chirutha? I was opposite Ram Charan in it (it’s a Telegu movie in which she was discovered).
FHM: Aren’t you too skinny to be a South Indian movie actress?
Neha: I was supposed to be marooned on an island for half of the movie wearing really tiny shorts… I don’t think a fat girl would have worked.
FHM: Even then, the filmmakers didn’t try to sneak some extra ghee into your
food to try and fatten you up? Neha: Hahaha. Not all actresses down South are fat you know. And before you ask me, I also wore a tank top and we stayed at a nice hotel with a great gym. I can’t eat everything I want anymore… Hazards of the job.
FHM: Yeah it gets in the way of sexy shoots, doesn’t it?
Neha: Yes, it also means scrambled eggs without milk or cream (makes a face).
FHM: That’s a bummer, but you know there is always Photoshop.
Neha: Fuck you. Who does Photoshop? (pauses) Okay, fine, people do it. But I am happy with what god gave me. And I like to show it off.
FHM: (Smug) Of course you do. The shoot is fairly sexy for a girl from Bihar who went to a convent. Tell me about the shorts you wore in Chirutha? They must have gotten damn filthy by the end of it…
Neha: I was wondering when you’d get to that. Yes they got filthy, but we had two pairs.
FHM: How did you end up on an island though?
Neha: Our jet ski ran out of fuel. And then slowly we fall in love. FHM: Sounds like fascinating cinema… Did you break into a dream sequence in the middle and dance in the streets of New York wearing chiffons? Neha: It was a lot of fun. And, I’m ignoring the sarcasm.
FHM: So about this school of yours… how was it?
Neha: You know how convents’ are…
FHM: Not as much as we’d like to know…just as much as we could see from over the boundary wall…
Neha: I know I shouldn’t have said that. So what do you know about convents?
FHM: They are girls’ schools and the sports room is a hotbed of lesbian activity… Neha: Really? Is that what you think happens in a convent? FHM: Of course, it doesn’t? Neha: I don’t know about lesbians…I do know that I almost became a nun.
FHM: Nun! Haha. Look how that turned out.
Neha: I used to recite passages from the scriptures all through whole school, so…
FHM: So you decided to become a nun! Good thing you didn’t. Did you ever get hit on by a girl?
Neha: Yes, once.
FHM: You can’t answer that in two words. Details?
Neha: It’s exactly like how a man hits on a woman. They’ll come up to you, try to make conversation and drop subtle hints that they’re interested. Brush their hair, touch your arm…
FHM: Get to the fun stuff. What line was used on you? Neha: No chance I am telling you that! But I don’t think its disgusting when someone walks up to you and says they are interested whether they are a man or a woman, unless they are being damn cheesy of course.
FHM: That’s okay, but what about the lesbian thing?
Neha: I have never gotten the big deal about lesbian fantasies.
FHM: It’s not hype, just curiosity. Purely for academic purposes… At least tell us if you have met a hot lesbian? Neha: You haven’t?
FHM: Not really.
Neha: Don’t worry, there is a lot of life ahead of you…
FHM: You’ve single-handedly managed to kill the ‘10 best lesbian pick-up lines’ feature.
Neha: Did I? Hurrah!
FHM: On to boring things then – you say you played only male characters in Bard’s re-enactments – did you go to a supermodel only school?
Neha: Haha! Look at you flirting. I have just always been very attracted towards male roles. I played Shylock in Merchant of Venice. I’d dress up like a guy even for Christmas celebrations and was a bit of a tomboy.
FHM: Tomboy is one thing, but the obsession with being a guy is a bit much no?
Neha: I went to NIFT after that and got over it. Any complains?
FHM: No, no! You turned out top notch. But going from a convent to NIFT must have been tough in terms of dealing with guys and all?
Neha: Thank god it wasn’t. I got enough attention from boys and liked it. I think
whether it’s a man or a woman, attention is good.
FHM: You must’ve gotten some legendary pick up lines?
Neha: I don’t think they work on me. Plus, I don’t keep track of them. But once this guy tried a really bad one – we’d gone out drinking with a group and this guy threw some ice on the floor, stepped on it and said, “now that we’ve broken the ice, shall we dance?”
FHM: Priceless. Did it work?
Neha: No way!
FHM: So what works – if a bloke spots you at a pub and wants to come and buy you a drink?
Neha: Just approach me and say hello, start a convo. Don’t try to pour all your humour and intellect into one line and use it on me. If it happens, it happens. If not, move on.
FHM: So what about the beach? Are you the sort who’d be hanging in a bikini sipping a cocktail?
Neha: I do love to swim on a holiday, but I’m not the kind to just be sitting and sipping cocktails. I’d probably be running around.
FHM: And do you meet Indian women on a beach in a sari who check you out when you are in a bikini?
Neha: Of course, they check you out from head to toe, especially if you are wearing a stringy bikini. FHM: So are you… wearing a stringy bikini?
Neha: Sometimes. But I haven’t tried wearing one on a Mumbai beach and am not going to either (laughs).
FHM: That’ll be some sight! Neha: I have a fairly large bikini collection though.
FHM: Hallelujah! So are there any basics to have or just the sexier, the better?
Neha: Sexier the better. But you need a black and white, a
black-white and red, a hot pink, a green and yellow… I just try buying a bikini from every place I visit.
FHM: We’re guessing you’re a beach bunny?
Neha: I love beach holidays! It’s the closest you can feel to nature. The only problem is I tan too quickly. My skin burns, peels and gets itchy, so I can’t be in the sun too long.
FHM: Sounds attractive – bikini
babes scratching themselves. You should use FHM’s services, we’re A-grade suntan lotion appliers.
Neha: I’d let you know if it comes to that. I have been thinking I would want to open a restaurant…
FHM: By the beach?
Neha: That’d be lovely. I would’ve been a chef if I wasn’t an actress… FHM: Any specialties?
Neha: My carrot cake with cream cheese. I’ll make it for you soon. FHM: What about breakfast? Neha: I make killer scrambled eggs with salmon…
FHM: Fabulous! We hope the eggs aren’t too runny or dry… Neha: No they won’t be. With experience you know exactly when to stop cooking.
FHM: Okay, but before brekkie plans…are you single?
Neha: Yes, I’m single. I have to concentrate on my career. And men are all ‘Why aren’t you talking to me’, ‘Going out with me’ and I want to have time for my man.
FHM: Who are these needy idiots you’ve been dating? Neha: You aren’t like that? Well, then you are the exception.
FHM: You bet we are!
Neha: So tell me, do you guys get excited looking at covers?
FHM: Yup, it’s a mandate. We got real excited with yours. Neha: How come when you see so many hot, naked women you don’t go off women?
FHM: What logic is that? Neha: Aww, I’m teasing! So tell me what are the sort of girls you date? FHM: Nutter women, almost exclusively.
Neha: Really? Shit. We should get a drink so you can tell me about it.
FHM: Sure, it’s quite the ‘ice-breaker’.
Neha: Hah. Dude.
FHM: What sort of place would you like to go? Will you end up dancing on the bar?
Neha: I haven’t danced on top of a bar yet. I do love dancing though and might end up there when drunk with friends, but I don’t have friends in Mumbai. Last time I went out and danced was when we went clubbing in London while shooting Yamla Pagla Deewana 2. But otherwise I’m a little shy and conscious.
FHM: Yeah, you really do look shy in the pictures…
Neha: I’ll get over the shyness by the next cover…promise.
We are counting on it!